The Wild Man's Retreat and Independence

I just spent a wonderful weekend with about fifty-five men from my church at the HEB camp in Leakey, Texas. When you mix the beauty of the Creator's creation and a bunch of men who are not afraid to "play the man" and let you beneath the surface, you get a lot of man tears and good fellowship. It was a blessing to see father's affirming their teenage sons, and vice versa. It made me crave that relationship that I hope that the Lord one day blesses my wife and I with. All that to say, the Lord revealed a couple of expectations that followed me to the headwaters of the Frio river and the annual Wild Man's Retreat. I say jokingly to many people that my spiritual gift is sleeping, and that I can do it anywhere at anytime. Well, for the first time in my life, that evening of sleep was absolutely misreable. My independence is slowly beginning to diminish. My once fiercly independent mindset is being overshadowed by "the two shall become one flesh". The meshing together of our lives emotionally, physically, mentally and spiritually is piercing the armor of my independence, and I love it. I never imagined that spending the night away from my "dream woman" could be so enitirely misreable. My mind can not verbalize the void I felt sleeping alone. I could feel my eyes starting to overflow, as my mind longed for that same relationship with my savior. Has sleeplessness ever plagued me as a result of my being away from my "first Love"? Oh to be desperately dependent upon you my Lord!